Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
