Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My breasts were aching with rage.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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