Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Oh god it's open bar.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize