Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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