I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
