I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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