My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
