There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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