I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
