Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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