Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They have beer where we have blood.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
