I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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