I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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