Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize