Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
