I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
