Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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