He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Are we still banned from the library?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
