marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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