Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize