p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
