this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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