There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
