I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
