Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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