Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
