I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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