I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
