There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize