Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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