i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
