So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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