Fuck appropriateness.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
