I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
