I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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