the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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