he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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