All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize