shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
