I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
