I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
