Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
