dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
