i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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