We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
