Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Farmville is her only friend.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
