New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
