Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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