Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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