i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
