Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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