i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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