so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
