another moral hangover. fuck.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
